


All My Friends

by Alice_h



Series: A Place of Our Own [7]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Downward Spiral, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Pride Parades, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:33:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21596671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_h/pseuds/Alice_h
Summary: The Best Friend Squad are going to Pride! (at least if Bow can convince them to call themselves that). It's a perfect day for all of them, until Glimmer gets a phone call that sends her world crashing down around her.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: A Place of Our Own [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1511849
Comments: 89
Kudos: 120





	1. Best Pride Squad

**Author's Note:**

> As often seems to be the way with me, this starts off light and happy but it will end up in some dark places. But hey, at least for the first couple of chapters, have our four friends enjoying their Pride experience (and yes, I've had Bow as trans in my head the whole time I've been writing this series, so now I get to confirm it)

Bright Moon Manor on the morning of what was set to be a beautiful June day was an almost fairy tale-like apparition as the taxi pulled up outside. Adora paid the fare, and she and Catra strode carefully across the gravel to the steps up to the front door. As they ascended, the door opened and Glimmer greeted them, drawing their attention to her hair, which had been dyed pink, lavender, and blue in three distinct lines.

“Love the bisexual hair, Glimmer!” Adora laughed as soon as she saw her friend, “Very showy.”

Glimmer waved her hand dismissively, “If you think this is showy, wait till you see Bow. His outfit is...well, you’ll see. And talking of clothes, don’t think I haven’t noticed your couple’s outfit under your jackets.”

Adora giggled and took the garment off, revealing a rainbow-coloured shirt underneath with “I LOVE HER” in big letters, with an arrow pointing towards Catra. Her girlfriend showed her matching top, with the arrow in the opposite direction, “Yeah, we need to make sure we stay on the right side or it’s going to be awkward.”

“Nahh, it’s Pride. Everyone loves everyone! Come on in!” She beckoned them inside, then led them upstairs to her bedroom, Catra and Adora sitting on her bed as she rummaged through a wardrobe, various clothes being launched behind her, “It’s here somewhere…”

“What are you looking for?” Catra questioned, wondering if she could help.

“My bi flag, I’m sure I put it in here after Pride last year,” a few odd shoes flew towards Adora as Glimmer tried to make more room, “Oh wait, found it!”

She picked up the roughly folded fabric and unfurled it to reveal a flag that was taller than she was.

“Blimey, Glim,” Adora giggled, “That’s huge!”

“You know what they say, the bigger the better!”

“Perv,” snarked Catra, winking at the young woman in front of her.

There was a knock at the door, and Bow’s voice followed through the wood, “Did I hear Catra and Adora? Are you all decent?”

“Even if we weren’t, you could still come in. You know we have that kind of friendship,” Glimmer shouted back, and the door began to open, Bow stepping into the room and stunning the visitors into silence.

“Whoa, Bow…” Adora stared. His vivid outfit consisted of a light blue baseball cap, pink tank top, a white belt holding up matching pink shorts and some light blue knee-high boots. It was somewhat different for the usually reserved young man, but he was brimming with enthusiasm and confidence in the get-up and it showed.

Catra was almost lost for words, starting to say something, and stopping before anything came out several times, “You look…”

“Good?”

“I was gonna say you look like the trans flag fucked one of the Village People, but yeah, you look good.”

“Thanks, Catra,” Bow blushed, “It’s not too over the top, is it?”

“Oh, it’s extremely over the top,” she laughed, “You can’t even see the top from where you are. It’s perfect.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and became more serious, “It’s just it’s going to be my first ‘proper’ Pride. Last year I was swamped with work and before that… well, I wasn’t me before that, so it doesn’t count.”

“It’s going to be amazing,” Adora rested her head on his shoulder, “Bow’s first Pride, and he’s got the best people to go with!”

“A raging lesbian, a bisexual posh girl and a hot mess?” Catra stuck her tongue out, grinning as she did so.

“Weirdly I hope I’m the raging lesbian?” her girlfriend furrowed her brow, but soon relaxed into a chuckle.

Catra giggled, “Yup. I’m a straight-up trash fire.”

“Aww, babe,” Adora pulled her into a tight hug, making sympathetic noises, “That’s not true. There’s nothing straight about you.”

Throughout the conversation, Bow looked as if he was about to burst. When it came to a natural lull, he exploded with excitement, “Hey! I just realised… We’re the Best Pride Squad!”

“Nope!” said all three girls simultaneously, making each other explode with laughter. Bow constantly tried to get them to refer to themselves as the 'Best Friend Squad' and they still weren't going to let him have his way. 

“GLIMMER!” the sound of Lady Bright Moon’s angry voice getting closer quickly calmed them down, “GLIMMER!”

“WHAT?” the girl yelled back.

Angella threw the door open, her mood changing briefly as she saw the guests, “Ah, Catra and Adora, lovely to see you.”

“And you,” Adora’s reply went ignored as the older woman returned to the source of her irritation.

“Glimmer, I have just been into the main bathroom. _What_ have you been doing in there?”

Her daughter shrugged, “I just dyed my hair, that’s all.”

“It’s a mess! Clean it up.”

“Isn’t that why we have a cleaner?”

“I am not making Agneta touch that,” she scolded, “You need to learn to take some responsibility for once in your life, Glimmer!”

“Muuum,” Glimmer groaned, “I don’t have time now, I’ll do it when we get back.”

Angella’s eyes pierced through her, “No, NOT when you get back. NOW!”

“I’m not doing this in front of my friends! We have _three_ bathrooms; you can use one of the others for a few hours. _God…._ ”

“Don’t take that tone with me, Glimmer!”

“Or _what?_ Mum?”

“I am so tired of your attitude!” she took in a deep breath, “But out of respect for your guests, I won’t push the point any further. I want it cleaned up the _moment_ you get home later. Do you understand?”

Her daughter rolled her eyes, “Oh my God, YES. FINE!”

“I shouldn’t let you get away with this level of disrespect,” Angella turned away and left the room, muttering under her breath. When Glimmer was sure her mother was out of sight, she held up both her middle fingers and snarled with anger.

“It’s just a little hair dye,” she grumbled, “It’s not going to kill her to be near it. Although that would get her off my back…”

“Don’t say that, Glimmer,” Adora gently chided her, “Come on, we need to leave in a few minutes.”

Glimmer ignored her and began rummaging in her cupboard again, pulling out a glass bottle, “Yeah, but first I have the best solution to having to deal with my mother. Booze!”

“Bit early for that…” Bow leapt across the room to snatch it from her hands, but she twisted away and kept hold of it, “Also should we be concerned that you’re hiding alcohol in your room?”

“Ha, no,” she laughed, her upbeat mood returning, “I brought it up earlier just so I could see the look on your faces when I pulled it out. And Bow, you did not disappoint. Still, though, want some?”

The young man’s expression said ‘no’ far more forcefully than his words ever could, and Glimmer put the bottle next to her bed as she ushered them out. A car was waiting downstairs, and they piled in, full of excitement for the day ahead. It was Etheria Pride, one of the most magical, exciting and queerest days of the year – and they were going to make the most of everything it had to offer.

“Best Friend Squad is going to Pride!” Bow called out cheerfully as they pulled out of the driveway of Bright Moon.

“NOPE!” chorused the others.

“We’ll see,” he grinned, “We’ll see…”


	2. Pride of Etheria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra, Adora, Bow and Glimmer spend their day at Etheria Pride

The city of Etheria was bathed in the warm sun of another wonderful summer day, the perfect setting for the region’s biggest Pride event. As the four friends headed towards the parade route, the streets were already lined with a sea of colour comprising thousands of people from the very young to the very old. There were hundreds of rainbow flags, of course, but they could pick out flags representing all manner of sexualities and genders. They worked their way through the throng of people, finding a spot from which to watch the events unfold. There was very little room, so Adora let Glimmer and Bow push forward to lean on the railings that separated them from the road, then she and Catra stood just behind them. After a few minutes of waiting, they could see the first banners being brought towards them from further up the street.

A cavalcade of colourful joy followed over the next half hour: hundreds of people marching and waving dozens of pride flags; members of local queer groups and LGBT staff associations; tour buses with people dancing on the top deck; open-sided trucks blasting out music. It was 30 minutes of pure, undiluted queer joy that brought everyone together. Once the end of the parade had passed, the four of them began to follow the crowds away towards the riverside, where an afternoon of entertainment was to take place.

“So how was Bow’s first Pride?” Adora asked him as they dawdled along the packed city centre streets.

“That was awesome!” Bow couldn’t hide his happiness – and didn’t want to anyway, “I especially loved the twirly rainbow people…just, wow!”

Catra laughed, “Twirly rainbow people? That could have been pretty much everyone.”

“You know what I mean, they had the twirly sticks and… Agh, I’m just too happy to think properly!”

His smile was wider than his friends had ever seen. Though they were all in high spirits, Bow’s sheer level of rapture was something else. Just being able to see so many people like himself out and about, being happy and being themselves, was everything to him, and his joy was infectious. Glimmer spent several minutes light-heartedly ribbing him, joking that they should have Pride every day if it put him in a mood this good. Despite the slow progression caused by so many people on streets not designed for it, they soon reached a small pedestrianised area near the river, whereupon Catra announced enthusiastically, “We’re at the best bit now!”

“We are?” Glimmer was somewhat confused – there was only a footpath ahead of them.

“Yeah! Information stalls!” the brunette yelled as the group turned onto the riverside.

“What’s so good about them?”

“Free shit! I’m gonna load up on pens and badges,” she tore off towards the row of white canvas tents, while her friends shook their heads, amused at Catra’s eagerness.

Adora hurried the group slightly to catch up with her, “She _really_ loves pens…”

“Hey Bow!” a voice called out to them, as they approached the first stand. A young woman with wavy dark hair was stood handing out flyers advertising a support group.

“Christa!” he exclaimed, dashing over to hug her, “Ladies, this is Christa, she runs the TransEtheria group I go to.”

“It’s lovely to meet you all,” she paused to offer a leaflet to some passers-by, “Gotta say, I’m so glad Bow has such good friends who are supporting him through everything.”

Her words made Adora proud, “We’d never give up on our Bow. And he makes a much better man than he ever did a woman.”

“Thank you?” Bow tilted his head at her, before his attention was drawn to an unfolding situation in the distance, “Oh, crap, we’ve got to go. Catra’s harassing some firefighters. I’ll see you at group next week!”

“Have a great Pride!” Christa waved as Adora sprinted off to save an innocent emergency worker from her girlfried. Bow and Glimmer trailed behind at a slightly more leisurely pace.

“…no no, assuming nothing else caught fire, what would be the smallest thing I could set light to that you’d come out for?” Adora only caught the last part of Catra’s sentence when she arrived behind her, but it sounded like she was going to need to apologise for her girlfriend.

“Just… maybe _don’t_ set fire to stuff, okay?” the firefighter couldn’t tell how serious the girl was and made sure to reiterate the point, just in case.

“Aw, fine…”

“Heyyyyy, I’m sorry about her,” Adora giggled nervously, “You know how it is, right? Just give her a pen or something and I’ll take her away.”

The firefighter reached behind her and grabbed a couple of pens and a few stickers, “Here you go. Remember, no fires.”

Catra stuck her tongue out playfully, “Agree to disagree.”

The couple walked on, until a tall man in a purple shirt waved a small bag in front of her. Once again, the promise of free merchandise lured her in, and inevitably Adora was dragged along too. He introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Paul from the National Adoption Agency. Have you thought about raising kids?”

“Ha!” Catra blurted out, “Adora can’t even look after herself half the time.”

“Hey!” her girlfriend protested, “I would make a great mother! I made my own breakfast this morning, _actually._ ”

The representative laughed along with them, holding out the bag for Catra to take, “You’re certainly an energetic couple! I think you’d make a child really happy. Here, have an information pack anyway, you might change your mind one day – we’ve got booklets about adoption, there’s some stickers, some pens and our phone number. If you ever want to know more, just call.”

“Ooh, pens! I mean, uh, thanks!”

“Have a good day, ladies.”

Glimmer and Bow caught them up, and they strolled along together, Catra intermittently bothering representatives from all manner of organisations, charities and companies. As the row of stalls came to an end, the landscape opened out to a large grass-covered area bathed in sunshine. A stage had been erected at one side, where a handful of crew members were setting up for the afternoon’s entertainment.

“Bow! Sweetheart!” a voice turned their attention behind them, where a strikingly tall person stood in an eye-catching short bright green dress with thigh-high black leather boots. Bow stood up and gently pulled them forward, excited to introduce them to his friends.

“Ah hey! Everyone, meet DT. They go to the group with me. DT, this is Glimmer, my best friend; Adora, my other best friend; and Catra, Adora’s girlfriend and my other other best friend.”

Glimmer extended an arm, “Nice to meet you, DT. Is that short for something?”

The newcomer batted her hand away, “It’s short for ‘Don’t Touch’, darling. And that’s short for ‘Don’t Touch What You Can’t Afford.”

“Uhh...”

“I’m just joking with you, darling,” they took hold of Glimmer’s hand and kissed it, “Enchanté. Bow has told me so much about you… honey, he thinks the world of you. You should be all over that.”

The young man’s face went red, “Uh…DT, I think… I mean, I don’t…”

“Shame, she’s so pretty,” they stroked Glimmer’s cheek gently, eliciting a slightly flirtatious giggle that she couldn’t keep inside, “I could see myself getting to know someone this beautiful. Call me, gorgeous.”

“Yaaaa,” she temporarily forgot how to form words, blushing heavily from the attention.

Adora interrupted, much to Bow’s relief, “Well, if you’re done flirting with our friend, do you wanna come join us to watch the entertainment?”

DT sighed and sidled up to her, “If you can call it entertainment, Blondie. A cavalcade of failed and washed-up musicians covering a bunch of nudge-nudge wink-wink songs about being gay? Hard pass, darling. Although if the company is right, and as sexy as you, I could be persuaded…”

“Hey!” Catra stepped in between the two of them, “She’s my girlfriend!”

“Oh, are you jealous?” they looked her up and down, “I was going to get to you eventually, kitten. Don’t think I didn’t spot those hips the moment I laid eyes on you. They made me feel something deep inside, something…. Carnal…”

“Yeah, you’re making me uncomfortable.”

DT took a step back, eyes widening as they realised their transgression, “Oh, I’m so sorry! Message received, loud and clear. I get overexcited sometimes, especially on a day like today, and I cross the line. That’s why DT stands for ‘Doesn’t Think’. I humbly request your forgiveness.”

They knelt down in front of Catra, the forthright apology slowly starting to make her warm up to them. A slight grin began to make its way across her face, “Seeing as you’re a friend of Bow’s, I suppose I can forgive you.”

“You beautiful woman!” DT jumped up, “I mean… I respect your boundaries?”

“The first act is about to start!” Bow pointed at the stage, indicating them all to be quiet. The five of them located a spot on the grass to sit on, watching as a drag queen walked on, clad in a very tight minidress and sporting hair that appeared to defy gravity.

“HELLO ETHERIA!” she yelled, getting whoops and cheers back from the assembled crowd, “Welcome to this year’s Etheria Pride! I am your hostess with the most-ess, Miss DeBowl, and I’m so proud to be here! We’ve got so many wonderful people to entertain you today, so without any further ado, give it up for our first act, The Princess Alliance!”

A strum of a guitar and cymbals crashing set the music going. Some of the audience immediately got into the groove, clapping and dancing, whereas others kept themselves more laid back, enjoying the entertainment whilst lying on the grass and sunbathing. The afternoon passed by quickly, with a variety of queer performers singing to the hundreds of people watching. Catra and Adora were so relaxed, they almost found themselves falling asleep, hand in hand, numerous times – only jolting themselves back to wakefulness when Glimmer poked them in the stomach, giggling manically at the way they were startled. Several friends and acquaintances passed by, giving a quick hello, and they all felt fiercely proud to there. The day was special to all of them.

“I gotta say,” DT stood up, “This has been so much better than I expected. Totally prepared for a snoozefest, but you lot are pretty awesome. However, I must away to my adoring public…”

“Aw, you’re going?” Glimmer’s disappointment was palpable in the tone of her voice.

“I’m afraid so, darling,” they patted her on the head, “But you can always call me. If Bow doesn’t make his move, that is…”

The young man sighed, trying to hide his embarrassment, “I… Never mind. See you next week, DT. Bye!”

“Au revoir, mes jolis!” DT continued waving and walking backwards until they were almost out of sight. Adora was rather impressed at their ability to do both simultaneously without walking into anyone.

As they settled back down to watch the next performance, Glimmer stood up suddenly, “Phone call, I’ll be back in a minute.”

She disappeared to a slightly more peaceful area, leaving the others laid across the grass watching the stage, where a young blonde woman was prancing about the stage singing a Spice Girls song. They were all slightly too young to remember this song the first time around, but it was well-known to the point where they could sing along to the bits they knew. Before they reached the second chorus, Glimmer returned.

“I’m so sorry, but I have to go,” she said, barely audible over the hubbub of people. Her entire disposition had changed, and it had not gone unnoticed by her friends.

“Is something wrong, Glimmer?” Bow scrambled to his feet, placing a reassuring hand on the girl’s shoulder.

She clicked her tongue and spoke in a high voice with an odd cheeriness that Bow would later ascribe to shock, “No, no, it’s um…it’s all fine. Everything’s fine, yeah. Nothing wrong, um, except my mum just died.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the day was going so well....
> 
> Also:  
> 1) DT was great fun to write.  
> 2) Catra just really freaking loves stationery


	3. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the effects of the news ripple through the Best Friend Squad, Adora and Glimmer both find different ways to manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt this rapidly-darkening tale of grief for some bittersweet Glimmadora comforting.
> 
> A quick content warning for alcohol misuse if that's a thing that is difficult for anyone

The news about Angella had plunged Glimmer’s friends into silence. Behind them, the loud music continued with hundreds enjoying it, but to Adora, Catra and Bow, it may as well have been half the world away. The party atmosphere carried on around them as their day came to a crashing halt.

“Died?” Bow had to clarify what she had told him. He couldn’t reconcile seeing Angella earlier today with what he was now hearing.

Glimmer nodded, blinking rapidly to fight off the urge to cry, “Car accident, I think they said? I, uh… I need to go home, I think?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, you do,” Bow grasped her trembling hands, “I’ll come with you, make sure you’re alright.”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun,” her brain had stopped processing information, and the emotionless words that came out weren’t registering in the filter that usually stopped her saying inappropriate things like that.

Bow glanced back at Catra and Adora, “I’ll get her home, uh, and let you know what’s going on when I can. Come on, Glimmer, everything will be okay.”

Adora nodded as they walked off, the shock hitting her quite hard too. Angella had almost been like a surrogate mother for her over the few years she had known Glimmer. For most of her life, Adora had assumed that the way her mother and father treated her was how all parents behaved towards their kids – the restrictive rules, the guilt tripping, playing her off against her own sister – but meeting Angella opened her eyes. She had endless patience and love for Glimmer, and even though they sometimes had their disagreements - admittedly more so in the last year of her life - it was clear that she saw her daughter as someone she could help to achieve her dreams and not an inconvenience. The day Adora came out to her parents and they told her she wasn’t welcome in their home any more, Angella didn’t hesitate to take her in as if she was one of her own, giving her a place to stay until she found somewhere to rent for herself.

Even when Adora left to live on her own, and then with Catra, she was still a frequent visitor to Bright Moon, although Angella’s increasingly busy schedule of charity work meant their paths crossed much less frequently. Nevertheless, there was always familial love between them, and Adora would often get invited to dinners and events as though she were Glimmer’s sister. The realisation that she had lost that made her stomach sink – the one parental figure she respected and who respected her, now gone. She was devastated.

The atmosphere when Catra and Adora arrived home was sombre, both of them still shaken at Angella’s death. The couple weren’t sure what to say or what to do, spending most of the evening in an emotionally-charged silence, with Catra trying her best to play the supportive girlfriend. Around 11pm, the door buzzer sounded as they were on their way to bed. Cautiously, Adora answered, unsure who would be outside this late into the evening, “Hello?”

“Adora? Can I come in?” Glimmer’s voice emerged from the speaker, muffled and audibly weighed down by her grief.

She hurriedly pressed the button to unlock the door, “Yes, yeah, definitely...”

Glimmer almost sprinted up the stairs, not stopping upon reaching the open door and crashing into Adora, dropping her bag onto the floor and bursting into tears.

“Are you okay? Ugh, stupid question, sorry. What are you doing here?” she instinctively wrapped her arms around the distraught girl.

Glimmer tried to catch her breath between sobs, “I just… I just can’t be... at home. It all just... reminds me and I can’t… Can I stay with you tonight?”

“Of course you can, Glim. We’re about to go to bed so…” Adora leaned in to hug her friend, pausing momentarily as she detected the smell of alcohol on her. She could hardly blame her for having a drink, given what had happened, and took her into the living room where Catra was tidying up.

“Glimmer’s staying tonight,” Adora explained to her girlfriend as she brought her in, “Hope that’s fine with you?”

“Anything we can do to help. Do you want a drink or something? We-“ Catra cut herself off mid-sentence as Adora’s eyes indicated she should stop talking, followed by the blonde girl rapidly mouthing the word ‘drunk’. That was enough for Catra to understand, and she quickly changed tack, “We’ve got coffee, tea, water. Fancy anything?”

Glimmer shook her head, “I just want to not think about anything.”

Adora yawned, “I know, sweetheart. I’ll bring you in some pillows and a blanket so you can do just that.”

Glimmer twisted around to face her, “Is it… is it alright if I sleep in with you? I just…I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, Glim. It’s not a problem.”

“Thanks. I’m sorry if you two were going to…you know…”

“Nah, it’s not Adora’s birthday,” Catra attempted some humour to lighten the mood, but only succeeded in mystifying her girlfriend.

“Huh? What kind of person would do that on a day like today anyway?”

“Exactly. Oh, but there is a crucial decision for you, Glimmer.”

The purple-haired girl waved a hand in front of her. Decisions were not something she could cope with at the moment, “No, no. I can’t do that, I’m just…”

“Big spoon, little spoon or… middle spoon, I guess?”

“Little?” came the barely audible reply after a good twenty seconds of thought.

“Good choice!” Catra was trying to be as upbeat as she could given the circumstances, “Adora makes the best big spoon anyway, she’s tall and warm. I should hire her out for spoon purposes.”

“Catra…”

The disapproving tone stopped her saying anything further, and the three of them organised themselves into bed. Adora curled protectively around Glimmer, whilst Catra laid behind them both, her arm just reaching far enough around to the shorter girl’s shoulder. And this is how they remained, only the sound of each other’s breathing breaking through the silence, until they fell asleep.

The sun was barely up when Glimmer awoke, her head throbbing in pain and her mouth feeling like she had swallowed sawdust. Adora was still hugging her tightly, and she could feel the girl’s breaths gently tickling the tiny hairs on her back. Glimmer always found these first few moments in the morning comforting – when her brain hadn’t fully kicked in and reminded her of where she was or what was going on in her life. It was a peace that she wanted to hold onto for as long as she could, however it never lasted longer than a minute or so. Memories of yesterday rushed back – arguing with her mother, going to Pride, getting that phone call, going home… the regrets she felt – and it overwhelmed her to tears. She tried not to make any noise, but her body shook trying to restrain her despair, making it clear to a semi-conscious Adora what was going on.

“It’s OK,” Adora whispered sleepily and kissed the back of Glimmer’s neck, “I’ve got you.”

“Thanks,” she sniffled, “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Be cuddled?”

“Mhm.”

Adora idly stroked Glimmer’s hair, “I’m going to miss her too. Angella was a really kind-”

“Adora…” she pulled away slightly, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know, but you need to. It won’t do you any good holding it all in. I’ll get us some coffee and we can sit and chat, okay?” She jerked her elbow behind her, getting a loud squeak from her suddenly-awoken girlfriend, “Catra, get us coffee.”

Catra groaned loudly, “You get it…I’m comfy.”

“I’m busy cuddling Glimmer, I can’t move.”

“And _I’m_ busy cuddling _you_!”

It was a good point that Adora didn’t have an immediate answer to. She instead let the tension build, both of them knowing that one would eventually give in, that they couldn’t stay in bed forever. A good minute passed, before Catra rolled over, grumbling, “Fine. You win.”

When she returned, Glimmer and Adora were sat on the bed, propped up against the wall with the duvet pulled up tightly around them. Adora smiled at her girlfriend, thanking her and taking two of the mugs that Catra held carefully.

“Right,” she said determinedly, handing a coffee to Glimmer, “We’re going to work out what to do, okay?”

The reply was quiet, “Okay.”

“First though, I need to say how sorry I am about everything. Your mum was a great woman, more of a mother than mine ever was. She was always so kind and loving-“

“Adora, _please_ ,” Glimmer forced her eyes shut, fearing she would start crying again.

“I know it’s hard, Glim, _I know_. But it’s not going to go away by pretending it hasn’t happened.”

Glimmer put her mug on the side table and got to her knees, being able to look down on Adora for once, “I’m not pretending! I know she’s dead! I just can’t handle everyone talking about how amazing she was, it makes me realise how shitty I am compared to her. I _know_ my mum was this perfect woman, I’m the screw-up of the family and I hate myself for it.”

Adora was stunned. She had no idea Glimmer felt that way, “You’re not a screw-up.”

“Yes I am! Even you were a better daughter to her than I was,” she let herself fall into the pillow, sobbing so hard she wasn’t sure she would ever stop. Adora, feeling slightly guilty, laid herself next to her friend and put an arm around her shoulders. Glimmer tried to shake her off, but she was insistent.

“I’m sorry, Glim,” she whispered, “I didn’t know… Look, I’m going to help sort things out. Is there anyone in the family who can help?”

Glimmer nodded, still buried in the pillow, and mumbled a couple of words that Adora didn’t hear.

“Who?”

She lifted her head up, “My… my Aunt Casta. She was the one who rang me yesterday.”

“I’ll call her,” Adora spoke gently but firmly, trying to make Glimmer see that she had her support, “You take a minute, wash your face or whatever will help you feel a bit better, and we’ll tackle it together.”

“Okay. I should…” she gestured at her tear-ridden face, “Sort this out, yeah.”

Glimmer left Adora and Catra sat in the bed and made for the bathroom, picking her bag up along the way. Once safely locked inside, she began to desperately rummage through her bag, sighing in relief when she pulled out a small plastic bottle. Though the label boasted of the refreshing properties of the flavoured mineral water it was designed to hold, that had long since been replaced by something a little harder. Glimmer unscrewed the cap and gulped down a mouthful. The alcohol burned as it hit her throat, but it was a welcome feeling that she knew would soon help her thoughts to calm. Within five or ten minutes, it would reach her brain, giving her that disconnected sensation that would make this most difficult of days that tiny bit easier. She considered having more, but the change to her behaviour would be more obvious, and Adora and Catra just wouldn’t understand. They didn’t know what it was like to be her, to feel like a failure, to spend the day with nothing but a carousel of regrets spinning around her mind. All her friends would do would be to tell her off – and she really didn’t need that.

With renewed confidence at facing the day ahead, Glimmer splashed her face with cold water. She probably still looked like a mess, but at least she felt like less of one for having done so. The puffiness around her eyes that came with crying reduced, though she could still feel the tension that encircled her head – that was about all she could hope for. To freshen up her mouth, she quickly swigged some mouthwash, rinsing it around and spitting it out, the strong mint taste contrasting unpleasantly with the vodka she had just drunk. She was as ready as she could be, and as she exited the bathroom, Adora was stood waiting for her.

“I’ve phoned your aunt. She’s coming over today, so… I guess just try and relax until she gets here? It’ll be okay, you know.”

“Thanks, Adora,” Glimmer tried to smile, “I wish I could believe you.”

Adora pulled her into a hug, pausing briefly to kiss her cheek, “I’ve got you, Glim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer, no! :D
> 
> This chapter was quite awkward to write, as it fell in-between some major plot points and originally had very little bearing on the rest of the story. It felt like a chore at times. But a few revisions later, I think this is as good as it'll get, though it's still one of the weaker chapters in this. More great stuff to come!


	4. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the day of the funeral, Glimmer reveals a secret to Catra and pushes her friendships to the limit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days? Goodness me...it's almost like I had this 95% finished a week ago!

Angella’s funeral took place exactly two weeks after the accident which killed her. In the intervening days, Glimmer had largely shut herself away in Bright Moon, with Adora and Catra having seen her only a couple of times. Even Bow hadn’t been to visit her, a departure from their usual friendship that made Adora wonder if they had fallen out. And though she also worried about Glimmer being alone, when they journeyed up to the manor to help her and her aunt Casta to sort out funeral preparations, she seemed as well as could be expected, given that she had just lost her mother. Of course, Glimmer was not exactly cheerful, but Adora's worries that she would walk in to find her friend laid on the floor crying turned out to be unfounded.

The funeral ceremony itself was a small, private, close-family-only affair. Much more effort had been put into the wake, with Casta arranging to hire out the function room of an upscale local hotel. On any other day, Glimmer would have been in awe at the hotel’s Art Deco styling, but today she walked in through the front entrance with blinkers on – barely aware of even her friends greeting her. The function room was already beginning to fill with people when she entered, but the platitudes that they threw in her direction went in one ear and out of the other. Glimmer didn’t want to talk to people – certainly not on a day like today – and she found a quiet corner where she could lean against the wall, keeping an eye out for anyone who might try and disturb her. Inside her mind, the storm of guilt and fear raged on, only dulled slightly by the pre-funeral drinks she had to ‘calm her nerves’.

As the trail of mourners through the entrance tapered off, Casta stood up and quietened everyone down, “Thank you all for coming. It’s been a difficult day for all of us, I know. Angella was… She was a wonderful woman – a devoted mother, a supportive sister-in-law and a tireless philanthropist. It’s no exaggeration to say that the work she did has directly improved the lives of tens of thousands of people across the world. From educating children in the poorest areas of the world, to her campaigning against the destruction of rainforests, Angella was someone who wanted to leave the world in a much better state than when she arrived.”

While her aunt continued the speech, Glimmer herself took advantage of the distraction to quietly slip out of the room. It felt like she couldn’t breathe in there, listening to all these people talk about how wonderful her mother was seemed like a direct attack on her. If Casta had just read out a list of every argument between her and her mother, it wouldn't have been any different. She needed to escape. Once in the hallway, Glimmer knew exactly where she was going – the hotel had a bar just across from the function room. She took a seat, ordering a couple of shots and staring at the glasses when they were placed in front of her. The relative silence in the room was a welcome relief. No-one was telling her how sorry they were or giving her ‘condolences’ – that word had long since lost all meaning because she’d heard it so much. It was just her and as many shots as she could put away before someone came to look for her.

To her annoyance, that number revealed itself to be less than one as Catra hopped up on the stool next to her, “Is this seat taken?”

“Free country,” Glimmer mumbled whilst Catra discreetly ordered a drink of her own.

“Why’d you run out?” the brunette asked, having glanced towards the door at just the right time to notice her leaving. She was hesitant to follow Glimmer, knowing that the conversation wouldn’t be an easy one, but her sense of responsibility won out.

“I need a break. From this. From everything. I just need…” she trailed off, “Actually, I’m glad you’re here, Catra. Can you help me out?”

“Help you out? What do you...” Catra looked up, but she began shaking her head when she realised what Glimmer was getting at, “Oh no. No, I’m not gonna do that.”

“Come on, you must still know people, right? Just give me a phone number. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

“I’m not helping you get drugs,” she said firmly, “They don’t help, Glimmer, I know that better than anyone. I was an addict and they destroyed my life – don’t make that mistake, you’re better than that.”

Glimmer let her head fall onto the bar, creating an audible thud, “No, I’m not. I’m an awful person.”

“That’s not true! I know you argued with your mum the last time you saw her, but that doesn’t make you an awful person. I think that makes you a normal family. I mean, I don’t really know what a normal family is like, but… everyone has ups and downs, right?”

“You don’t get it, Catra…”

“Glimmer, I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. But beating yourself up because you yelled at her isn’t going to help anyone.”

“It’s not that...”

“Well what is it? Where is this coming from?” Catra sipped from her glass.

“I slept with Bow.”

Lemonade sprayed from the brunette's mouth, “You did _what?_ When?”

“When he took me back from Pride. It just happened, I… I was a mess and… yeah, it happened.”

“Fucking hell, Glimmer,” she couldn’t mask her shock, “You two boned? Wow… Why did you...?”

The shorter girl sighed, “He asked me several times if I wanted him to go home, but I just… I don’t remember how it happened; it just did. Fucking Daughter of the Year, me… my mother dies and all I can do is have sex with the first person I see. And the worst thing is, as soon as we were done, he told me it was a mistake and ran out. Everything I do is a fucking mistake, Catra. _Everything._ ”

“That’s not fair, Glimmer,” Catra took hold of her arm and gently pulled the girl to face her, “I don’t blame you for wanting some comfort. Wait…was that why you came to ours that night?”

“Partly. I couldn’t sleep in my own bed because it meant being right there and facing what I’d just done. But being in Bright Moon _did_ remind me of my mum. I didn’t lie about that… I just, I can’t handle all these regrets. I want to forget everything that’s happened.” Glimmer picked up her glass, tilting her head back and downing the rest of her drink in one gulp, “Another.”

Catra held up a hand to indicate the bartender to pause, “How many have you had, Glimmer? It’s barely two in the afternoon.”

“So what?” she looked back at the barman, “Pour it.”

“No don’t. Glimmer, I think you’ve had enough.”

“I don’t care what you think.”

“Why don’t you go home? You need to get some sleep by the look of you. I’ll cover with everyone; just say you weren’t feeling well or something.”

“Ugh, fine,” Glimmer grunted, “Um, can I borrow your phone to call a cab? Mine’s out of battery.”

“Sure,” Catra handed her mobile over and waited while her friend first looked up the number online, then made the call. Once she was done, Glimmer handed the phone back.

“I’m going to wait outside…just gather my thoughts and stuff away from everyone,” she slid off the stool, misjudging her balance and crashing to the floor. Embarrassed, she quickly dusted herself down and started to leave as though nothing had happened.

“Are you going to be OK, Glim? Like, in general?”

Her friend nodded unconvincingly, making her way unsteadily towards the front lobby of the hotel while Catra returned to the function room, excusing the girl’s absence as the day being too much for her. That wasn’t entirely a lie, Glimmer was finding everything a lot to handle -and not just her mother’s passing. It felt like her mind didn’t stop ruminating and worrying, and she desperately needed a break. As she exited into the afternoon sunshine, Glimmer pulled her phone from her bag. The screen told her she had received a message, and she smiled for the first time that day as she opened it to look:

_(3 minutes ago)  
Catra: Kyle 07700926641_

She felt slightly bad about lying - her phone was fine, and she knew the taxi company number by heart - but she had to get that phone number somehow, whether Catra liked it or not. The cab pulled up a couple of minutes later. Glimmer opened the door nearest her and sat down, fumbling with the seatbelt, “Bright Moon Manor, please.”

“Going home, Glimmer?” Bow’s voice startled her as he opened the door opposite. Her response was a mumble of confirmation – conversation with Bow was still awkward after they, as Catra so crudely put it, boned.

The young man climbed inside, “Catra told me. She's worried about you - I am too, so I’m coming with you to make sure you’re alright.”

“You don’t have to…”

“Are you drunk?” he had detected a slight slur in her speech, and as he moved closer, could smell the indicative scent, despite Glimmer trying to lean away, “Glimmer?”

She scoffed and shook her head, “I don’t need you to tell me off, Bow. Save your breath.”

“I’m not going to tell you off, I’m just concerned about you.”

“Like fuck you are! Were you concerned about me when you had sex with me and then ran out on _the day my mother died?_ Is this the ‘kind and caring’ Bow you make yourself out to be? Fuck a grieving woman and get the hell out of there?”

Bow’s head dropped, one hand covering his eyes, “That’s not-“

“You pretend to be this nice guy, but it’s just a lie. Though I guess everything about you is a lie, isn’t it, Rebecca?”

Bow shuddered at the mention of the name he had long since abandoned. The way his friend used his past as a weapon against him was saddening, “Glimmer…”

“I’m sorry,” she was genuinely remorseful at the line she had crossed, even in anger it should have been off-limits.

“I know you’re hurting, but don’t lash out at your friends.”

Glimmer’s jaw dropped, and she spat out her words, “Friends? You do that to me, and you still think we’re friends?! You are fucking deluded, I… Why are you even here?”

“Because I want to make sure you get home safely.”

“You do whatever, Bow. I don’t care any more.”

The cab was filled with the tensest silence either of them had ever experienced as it weaved its way through the city and out into the countryside. Upon arrival at Bright Moon, Glimmer paid the driver and clambered out, falling straight to the floor. Bow rushed around the back of the car and, despite her protests, helped her up and held onto her so she stayed upright as they walked inside.

“I don’t need you to do this,” Glimmer scowled, “…but thanks.”

“It’s fine. You can’t even stand up, Glimmer,” he moved a few steps ahead to help her up the stairs. Once those had been navigated, he led Glimmer to her room and carefully set her down onto the bed, sitting alongside, “I think you should get some sleep. I’m going home.”

“Wait, don’t leave me! I don’t want to be on my own, please. I’m sorry about what I said, I… I want you, Bow,” she twisted her body around, pressing her lips to his, with her hand running up the young man’s thigh. The connection didn’t last long, Bow almost immediately jumping up, letting her fall gently forward onto the bed.

“Glimmer, no. I’m not doing this,” he turned to leave, but was pulled back by Glimmer’s hand roughly grabbing his wrist. He tried to pull away, but only succeeded in pulling her off the bed and onto the floor.

“Please Bow,” the girl was almost crying in desperation, “I need you. Stay!”

He wrenched his arm more forcefully, escaping out of her grip and pausing his exit momentarily to turn back towards her with an expression of disgust that she had never seen before. It made her stomach sink.

“You’re a mess. Sort yourself out, Glimmer.”

“Bow!” she yelled after him, but he kept walking, not reacting to her. Glimmer scrabbled around, trying to follow him, but her drunken and panicked state had destroyed her co-ordination, and she remained on the floor, “BOW! Bow, please… please, no…”

She stayed almost frozen, crying with frustration and hoping he would change his mind and return. But the sound of a car driving away cemented it in her mind – he was gone, and she had been abandoned to her big, empty house. She needed someone – anyone – just to make her feel less alone. Glimmer fumbled around her pocket, pulling her phone out and immediately dropping it to the floor in her hurry. She tried again, and despite her distress, managed to find what she was looking for

**Adora – Dialling…**

_“Hi, this is Adora! I’m not available right now, but leave me a message and I’ll get back-“_

Glimmer scrunched her eyes tightly as she cancelled the call, her breaths becoming short and sharp as she sobbed. First her mum, then Bow, then Adora – everyone she loved was leaving her…

**Catra – Dialling…**

_“Welcome to the Rebellion Mobile messaging service-“_

Catra as well? Where were her friends when she needed them? She begged for an answer as she tried again, “Please…”

**Adora – Dialling…**

_“Hi, this is Ad-“_

**Catra – Dialling…**

_“Welcome to the-“_

A roar of frustration emerged from Glimmer’s mouth, and she came close to throwing her phone across the room before another thought came to her mind. She tapped at her phone’s screen and closed her eyes.

**07700926641 – Dialling…**

It rang, and Glimmer’s sigh of relief was immense. At least there was someone who wasn’t shutting her out.

_“Yeah?”_

“Kyle?”

“ _Yup, who is this?”_

“Oh my God… Kyle, thank you,” she broke down again at the sound of his voice.

_“Who is this? Are you OK?”_

“Sorry, it’s… it’s one of Catra’s friends. I need something from you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All together now, "GLIMMER! NO!"


	5. Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling abandoned by her friends, Glimmer takes extreme measures to try and stop herself feeling guilty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Glimmer, what have you done? 
> 
> As you can probably expect if you've read the last chapter, this one contains drug and alcohol misuse which might be upsetting or triggering for some.

Glimmer had expected to be meeting Kyle somewhere remote, just the two of them away from prying eyes, but the centre of town on a Friday evening? It seemed far too busy to do anything like what she was about to do. After their phone call, Glimmer had rallied herself, managing to drag her body downstairs to fill herself with enough coffee to be able to function. As she came out of the cab that had dropped her in the town centre, the nerves set in. She wasn’t really sure what to expect, but approaching the phone booth they had agreed to meet outside, she could immediately see the young man with the medium-length, greasy hair, dressed in a tracksuit and carrying a rucksack on his back was the person she was after.

“Isn’t someone going to see us?” she whispered by way of a greeting, worried about the public setting of their rendezvous.

“Walk,” Kyle ordered, setting off so quickly that Glimmer had to run to catch him up, “Stay close, I’ll tell you what to do. Let’s talk like friends.”

“O- OK,” she stuttered, “How, um, how was your day?”

The young man laughed as he led her across a road, “That the best you can do? But it’s been fine. How was yours?”

“I buried my mother and all my friends abandoned me, so I’d say it’s been a shit day.”

“Well I’m sure I can make it better,” Kyle took hold of her hand, pressing a small bag into it without even breaking a stride, “ _Don’t_ look at it, just put it in your coat pocket.”

Glimmer did as she was told, trying to be as discreet as she could while Kyle continued walking quickly ahead, “So, uh… any plans for the evening?”

“I’m working. Friday nights are always busy.”

“Oh, where do you work?”

Kyle’s lack of response was enough to remind her of how he made his money. The young man started walking more quickly away from her, so she picked up her own pace and the two of them quickly reached the walkway alongside the river that flowed through town, Kyle descending some steps and taking a seat on the first bench they came across. He took off his backpack and set it next to himself, positioned so that Glimmer would have to sit on the opposite side.

“What about the money?” Glimmer whispered, brushing the wooden slats of the seat before she sat down.

“Put it in my bag.”

The young woman pulled a crumpled note from the coat pocket that wasn’t full of drugs and stuffed it into a side pouch of Kyle’s backpack, her eyes darting from side to side to see if anyone was looking at her.

“It’s, um, it’s real,” nerves forced her to speak just to cut through the silence, and she immediately regretted it.

“Better be,” Kyle didn’t look at her, “You ever had these before?”

Glimmer shook her head, prompting his explanation, “Take one, wait half an hour or so. Then you’ll have a great time.”

“And I’ll forget about everything?”

“Yep. At least for a few hours. Oh, and the Horde appreciates your custom,” he stood up, bidding her goodbye and walked off in the opposite direction from the way they had approached, leaving Glimmer sat alone. Curiosity drew her hand back into her pocket, and she felt at the small plastic bag inside. She could make out 7, maybe 8, small round pills; knowing she had them now filled her equally with relief and anxiety.

Could just one of these take away the pain and self-loathing? Were these tiny tablets the solution to her grief? The key to letting her have even a temporary break? Was it really that easy? She found her fingers making their way to the top of the bag, parting the two sides and breaking the zip-lock seal. She shuddered with excitement as her skin made contact with the pills, no longer separated by the thin barrier that the bag provided, and pinched at one of them. Glimmer’s hand emerged from her pocket, tightly wrapped around the treasure it had located inside.

_You can do this, Glimmer._ She encouraged herself as she raised her hand up to her mouth, still scanning the area for anyone who might notice what she was doing. With one movement, her hand returned to her side, devoid of its payload, which she swallowed smartly. Questions soon flooded her mind: how long does it take? What will happen? Will anyone notice? When will I start to feel okay again? She didn’t feel any different as she walked back along the riverside, towards the part of town that hosted the best nightlife. It was only just past 9pm, but the nightclubs would be open by now and into the early hours of the morning, and Glimmer was determined to let everything go tonight. By the time she breezed past the bouncers of a slightly seedy-looking club, using only her most flirtatious smile as ID, her head was starting to feel a little lighter. The weight of her life was beginning to lift.

It was crowded and noisy inside, but every thump from the speakers took away another thought she didn’t want flying around her head. Glimmer didn’t hesitate to head straight to the bar and order the strongest drink she could think of, knocking it back rapidly to fuel the peace that was descending upon her mind. Everything else faded into irrelevancy as Glimmer mingled with the other clubbers, her evening now a garbled mess of loud music, swirling lights, pills and alcohol.

There were people she didn’t know talking to her. Drink after drink being sent her way. The feeling of arms around her. The crashing of lips against her own. Hands roaming over her body as hers explored that of their owner. Swallowing another tablet that liberated her from her worries. Eagerly leading an arm to the bathroom. Locking the door as her knees hit the dirty floor. Fingers cradling her head. Needing to take the taste away. Buying more drinks. Another pair of hands touching her intimately.The filthy toilet stall again. Different fingers around the back of her head. Another pill. Was it two? Three? Who was even counting anymore? She felt free. Crashing her car and almost killing her best friend? Easily forgotten with another couple of shots. Her mother’s death? Take more drugs and it won’t bother you ever again. All this time she had spent fighting her demons, and now they were gone.

_You need to learn some responsibility for once in your life, Glimmer_

“Mum?” She glanced around the club, catching glimpses of shadows moving in the darkness and a pair of glowing eyes fixed upon her that sparked panic, “No! You aren't here! No!”

_I shouldn’t let you get away with this level of disrespect._

“Get away from me!” yelling in terror, Glimmer tore out of the nightclub, sprinting into the dark of the night. She was running. Falling. Fleeing. But no matter how far she got, her mother’s voice followed her, taunting her and reminding her of their final argument.

_You’re a mess. Sort yourself out Glimmer._

“Bow?” the girl looked around upon hearing his voice, but all she saw were dozens of pairs of devilish eyes staring at her from darkened corners, getting closer, “BOW?!”

_I know you’re hurting, but don’t lash out at your friends._

“I didn’t mean…. I’m sorry…. BOW?!”

The voices merged, taking on a distorted sound, as Glimmer spun around to try and locate their source. She fell to the floor again, her senses so dulled she didn’t feel the tarmac below scraping the skin from her exposed knees.

_He’s gone, Glimmer. They’re all gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is-_

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” her distressed yells echoed around the empty streets, “Leave me alone…you can’t be here! Whatever you are, just GET AWAY!”

_-gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is-_

* * *

_BZZZZZZZT._

_BZZZZZZT BZZZZZZT BZZZT BZZZT BZZT BZZZZT_

“The fuck?” Catra groaned as the door buzzer woke her from sleep.

A half-conscious Adora stirred next to her, “Probably just some idiots playing around.”

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT_

With a growl of resentment at being awake, Catra decided she would have to at least answer, if only to tell them to go away. She dragged her body, which was still very much in a slumber, and mumbled into the intercom, “Do you know what time it-“

“Catra?”

“Glimmer? Uh, come in?” she pressed the button to unlock the door, and opened the front door of their apartment. Several minutes later, Glimmer appeared in the hallway. To say she looked a mess was an understatement – her clothes were stained and ripped, and her face was a canvas of smudged make-up. There were grazes on her hands and knees, and she could barely stand, using the wall to help her stagger towards her waiting friend and into the apartment.

_They’re all gone, Glimmer. Come with us._

Catra shut the door behind them, “What the hell happened to you?”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” she yelled, losing her balance. Catra caught her and then carefully set her down kneeling on the floor, “Catra, don’t move!”

“Sorry, what?”

_Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra-_

Glimmer stared into the pair of bright red eyes that taunted her, desperate to make them see that they were wrong, “THEY’RE NOT GONE! They’re…not gone. Catra is here.”

_Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is-_

“Are you drunk?” Catra looked at her, Glimmer’s bloodshot eyes and dilated pupils giving away her true state, “Wait… what did you take, Glimmer?”

_You’re coming with us, Glimmer._

She couldn’t even see the girl in front of her. The shadows had her surrounded, shrouding her in darkness, “I’M GOING TO DIE, CATRA…”

“Adora?” Catra called for her girlfriend, who was already staggering out of the bedroom in the long t-shirt that passed for her nightwear, having been alerted by the shouting.

“What’s Glimmer doing here?” she asked drowsily, but jolted herself awake when she saw the look on her girlfriend’s face, “Is something wrong?”

“I think she’s taken something,” Catra shook Glimmer to keep her attention, “What did you have? And how many?”

_Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is gone. Adora is gone. Catra is gone. Mum is gone. Bow is-_

“Leave me alone!” she roared, lashing out roughly at the shadows that encircled her but inadvertently striking Catra’s arm.

“There’s nothing there, Glimmer,” Adora tried to be as gentle as she could with her words, “It’s just me and Catra. We’ll make sure you’re safe, but you need to tell us - what have you taken?”

“Like any of you care,” she hissed, “I’m just… I’m just….”

_That’s it, come with us Glimmer. You are ours now. You just need to relax. Be calm, be at peace, that’s the way. We've got you now._

Glimmer eyes rolled back as her arms went rigid and she collapsed onto the floor mid-sentence, her body convulsing violently. Catra looked up at her girlfriend in a panic, “Call an ambulance, Adora!”

Adora nodded briefly and ran back into the bedroom to get her phone and make the call. Catra remained crouched down on the floor, trying to ensure that Glimmer didn’t hurt herself as her body shook wildly. When Adora returned with news that the ambulance was on its way, the girl’s body was laid still. Catra leaned in close to check on her and gasped in horror.

“Oh fuck...She's stopped breathing.”


	6. Dene House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Approaching the entrance to a large country house, Adora remembers the events that followed Glimmer's late-night visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're about to find out a lot of what has been going on. I considered splitting this into two parts, but I think one longer one works best. I hope I've been able to convey the subject matter fairly realistically and appropriately, but it's been very satisfying to write.
> 
> Content warnings: alcohol and drug abuse, threats of suicide

**_Three weeks later._ **

Dene House was set in a quiet five-acre site in the countryside twenty miles from Dryl. It had originally been built in the late 1800s as a children’s hospital, and over the years had served as a sanatorium, a school, and even a hotel. In modern times, however, it was widely known as somewhere for people who needed help to get their lives back on track – provided they had enough money. Though it branded itself as a ‘retreat’ and a ‘clinic’, everyone knew that was just a pretentious way to say ‘rehab’.

As Casta’s car trundled slowly along the private road towards the imposing building, Adora couldn’t help but feel nervous. Memories flooded into her head of the night Glimmer had turned up at their house at 2am screaming; when the cocktail of drugs and alcohol she had taken shut her body down and Adora thought her best friend had died right there in their hallway; riding in the ambulance as they rushed her to hospital, calling everyone she could think of. Tears came to her eyes thinking about how close she had come to losing her.

When Glimmer woke up in the hospital the following afternoon, Adora was initially quite relieved, reasoning that she had reached rock bottom and the only way was up. But the way her friend remained almost completely silent about what had happened was concerning. Adora had worried constantly after Glimmer was allowed home – it felt like the hospital didn’t even care about what would happen and just wanted her gone to free up the bed. Her worst fears were realised when she received a slurred phone call from Glimmer less than 48 hours after being released from hospital, and the only thing she could think to do was to call Casta. That was the night of Glimmer’s final breakdown.

She had seen Glimmer at her absolute worst when the two of them turned up at Bright Moon manor that evening. It would later be revealed that she had taken more drugs, but all they knew at the time was that she had started smashing up the house in a paranoid rage. They could hear shouting and the shattering of glass the moment they exited the car, and ran in to find Glimmer in the kitchen almost naked, one hand clasped around a bottle she was drinking from and other the swiping at ornaments, crockery, glassware – anything that she could destroy, she was giving it her best shot. Casta went to calm her down, but as she did so, Glimmer had opened a drawer and pulled out a knife.

After being pushed out of the room for her own protection by Casta, Adora watched the unfolding scene from the hallway with fear fuelling the adrenaline that ran through her blood. She was consumed by sheer terror as Glimmer held the blade to her own throat, screaming that she would stab herself if they didn’t leave her alone. Casta had to talk her down, carefully edging closer and gently telling the girl that whatever her paranoia was telling her, it wasn’t true. Glimmer responded with yelling that didn’t even seem to form any words that Adora could discern, but her aunt continued to calmly reassure her. After a tense and horrifying five minutes, during which Adora had to close her eyes several times, expecting the worst, Glimmer dropped the knife and Casta had quickly run to pick it up and keep it away from her niece.

While Glimmer continued causing destruction, Adora and Casta plotted their next move. Trying to avoid getting hurt by the girl’s frenzied flailing, Adora grabbed Glimmer’s body from behind, restraining her while Casta locked her hands around her niece’s wrists. Screaming threats at the two women, Glimmer was led outside and locked into the back seat of her aunt’s car. Adora sat next to her, bearing the brunt of her alcohol- and drug-fuelled outbursts to try and keep her friend from hurting herself or either of them whilst Casta drove for two hours through the deserted roads. She tried to ignore the personal comments and threats that flew from Glimmer’s mouth, telling herself that she didn’t realise what she was saying, but it was harder to ignore the physical attacks that left her arms covered in scratches.

By the time they had arrived into the grounds of Dene House that night, Glimmer had fallen asleep, but quickly returned to her hostile, drunken state as Adora tried to pull her out from the car. A scuffle occurred, ending with Glimmer punching Adora in the face, an act that resulted in a black eye that took two weeks to fully disappear. Casta had already called ahead when they neared the retreat, so the staff were aware of what to expect, and they rushed out to help restrain the still-half naked young woman.

The pain she was in distracted Adora’s memories from then on, but she remembered the staff giving her a cold pack for her eye and then sitting in a corridor for hours. The walls were lined with artwork and letters from previous patients thanking the staff for the work they did – ‘you saved my life’ was written numerous times, and Adora hoped they could do the same for her best friend. She wanted the Glimmer she knew to return, to conquer the demons that had turned her into the mess that Adora had witnessed that night. It was morning before Casta reappeared to let her know what was happening: Glimmer was to be taken in for residential treatment for the next twelve weeks.

Adora had been too afraid to visit in the beginning. Glimmer’s aunt went to see her almost daily, returning with news of how challenging these initial stages were for the girl. Glimmer had apparently been drinking heavily for some time - her mother’s passing only worsened the problem to the point where she couldn’t hide it so well; where alcohol alone couldn’t mask her pain. Hearing about those long painful days and nights as Glimmer became familiar with sobriety again scared Adora, and she stayed away in fear of seeing her friend going through that.

However, when news filtered through that the worst days were over, Adora’s worry reduced and now she was here, getting out of a car, minutes away from seeing Glimmer. The building appeared so different in the daytime compared to the night she had brough her friend here: from the outside it looked like an upscale country hotel, a place of tranquillity – somewhere you might come for a weekend getaway. That illusion was shattered on the interior. Once she and Casta had passed through the electronically locked security door, Adora almost cried upon seeing the recreational areas for the inpatients. It wasn’t the sight of the residents playing pool, or the shelves of books and board games that had seen better days that made her heart sink – it was the little things. The extra cushions on the corners of the walls that stopped people from hurting themselves, the plastic scissors on the arts and crafts tables that could barely cut paper, the emergency alarms that were prominently fixed to the walls in every room. It hurt to know that her best friend had deteriorated so much that she needed this level of protection from herself.

Adora had been told that Glimmer was sat in the canteen, a large area that was almost deserted at this time of day. There were a couple of other residents sat drinking coffee in the centre of the room, but Adora was here for the young woman sat in the far corner, her head laid on the table in front of her. She was dressed in a baggy hoody, a notable change from her normal style. Her hair didn’t appear to have been brushed and her usual make-up was absent, giving her a tired, messy appearance. It was only when Adora pulled a chair out from the table that she even seemed to notice anyone was in the room.

“Hi,” Adora half smiled, her hand hesitating to make contact, “How are you feeling?”

“I feel like shit, Adora,” came the mumbled reply. Glimmer sounded thoroughly exhausted and emotionless.

“Yeah, I figured. Casta tells me you’re making good progress here though?”

“I spent the last two weeks screaming and crying day and night. But now I don’t feel anything, so I suppose you can call this an improvement.”

Glimmer’s current frame of mind wasn’t adept at conversation skills, and silence quickly took them over. Adora, too, found it difficult knowing where to start – she had a lot to say and none of it would be particularly easy. Dancing around the point wouldn’t work, so she had to be direct.

“How long has this been going on, Glimmer?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Catra and I have been talking a lot about you recently,” Adora leaned in, “She told me how guilty she feels for not seeing the signs, and I said to her ‘you couldn’t have known, there weren’t any’. But then I got thinking, and that’s not true, is it? The time we had dinner at Bow’s and you didn’t stop trying to fight against me. When you visited me in the hospital and had a shouting match with Catra. When you were arguing so much you crashed your car. You didn’t seem like yourself, and I guess we know why now. How long have you been drinking like that?”

She shrugged, “Not long. Just a few-“

“Bullshit! I watched you collapse in my apartment!” Adora couldn’t stop herself from raising her voice, “I woke your friends and family up in the middle of the night to tell them you were dead. I watched you put a knife to your throat while you looked me straight in the eyes and told me you were going to kill yourself. I brought you here while you screamed horrible, personal things at me in the back of Casta’s car and scratched my arms to hell! And you’re still lying to me! Cut the crap, Glimmer, how long?”

The girl sighed, defeated, “A couple of years.”

“God…” Adora wasn’t sure what answer she expected, or if any response could make her feel anything other than shocked, “Why, Glim?”

“I just did…” she shrugged. Adora’s expression told Glimmer that her non-committal response was not going to wash, “Okay, fine… I have always felt like I’m not good enough – that my life is just aimlessly wandering around trying to latch on to anything that makes me feel like I’m doing something worthwhile. Everyone I meet seems so much better at it than me. My mother was this amazing person who changed the world, and then I’m just a screw-up. But the drinking started when I dropped out of uni. I mean, you know I wasn’t exactly a soft drink person before, but we were students, we went out together and got slaughtered, that’s what students do, right? But a few weeks after I left, I saw you and Bow passing your first year and I felt completely useless. Just the stupid rich girl who doesn’t have anything going for her, but who cares, she’s got money, she can get away with being an airhead.”

Adora gingerly rested her hand on Glimmer’s shoulder, “Nobody thinks that, Glim...”

“ _I_ thought it. And you know the only thing that stopped me feeling that way? Drinking. I loved how my head would feel fuzzy, how reality would ebb away, and I didn’t have to care about how useless I was. It was a nice escape for the odd evening, but before I knew it, that became every evening. And then... I remember the first time I drank in the morning. I woke up with half a bottle of wine on my bedside table from the night before, and I looked at it, thinking ‘I want that. But drinking in the morning... That’s not good’. I spent half an hour debating with myself, encouraging myself by saying it could just be a couple of sips, _daring_ myself to do it. Then I downed the whole thing, and I suddenly felt like I could face the day that little bit better. So I wanted that feeling every day.

“I thought I was doing fine. I knew that I shouldn’t drink that much, but I told myself I was handling it; that I was in control. Then the crash happened – you’d think that it would have made me realise what I was doing to myself, that I was now starting to hurt those around me too. It didn’t though, it just added to all this guilt about what a horrible person I was. So I had more thoughts running through my head that I didn’t want to face. But I had a way to stop them, all I needed was alcohol and I didn’t have to worry about it.

“Then Mum died, and it sent me over the edge. I felt so guilty about the way I treated her – not just that morning, I was a spoilt brat all the time and that was her final memory of who I was. A horrible person and an ungrateful daughter, and I would never be able to change that. The regret destroyed me – I couldn’t sleep because my brain was playing out that argument over and over – and even alcohol couldn’t get rid of it. So I stole the number of one of Catra’s drug dealer friends from her phone and... I guess you know the rest. I just felt so alone.”

“You were never alone, Glimmer. You had us,” Adora said softly.

Glimmer rested her head on her arm, “You didn’t answer your phone! I _needed_ you, Adora, and you ignored me.”

“We were at the funeral; my phone was off. Besides, Catra said she sent Bow home with you so we didn’t think to check on you.”

Her friend recoiled at the mention of the young man’s name, “He left me on my own. I’m hardly surprised, I was awful to him but… is he OK?”

“I’ve barely head from him since the funeral. I’m sorry, Glimmer, but… well, just look,” Adora unlocked her phone and tapped on the screen a few times before holding it up for her friend to see.

_Adora (June 25 th, 4.07pm):_

_Hey, you OK? Haven’t heard from you in a while. Glimmer’s in_

_rehab now, haven’t been to see her yet but I will_

_soon. Wanna come with? xxx_

_Bow (June 25 th, 4.32pm):_

_I hope she gets the help she needs, but I’m done. She’s_

_caused too many problems for me and I don’t need that in my life._

_Going to take some time on my own and focus on my studies_

_for a bit. Hope you’re both alright x_

_Adora (June 25 th, 4.33pm):_

_Yeah, we’re good. Worried about Glim, obviously._

_Take care, speak to you soon._

_Adora (July 2 nd, 11.03am):_

_Going up to see Glimmer tomorrow. If you change_

_your mind, let me know before the morning and we_

_can come by and pick you up on the way x_

_Bow (July 2 nd, 4.09pm):_

_No thanks_

“Shit,” Glimmer went quiet as she read. The news that she had almost certainly destroyed her relationship with Bow struck her hard, and she could feel her brain sparking with regret. Her breathing became heavier and her fists balled up tightly as her mind filled with shame.

“Are you alright, Glim?”

“This is the kind of stuff I need a drink to get away from. I don’t want to feel like this, Adora,” her words became almost a growl through her gritted teeth and she banged on the table, “Fuck, I need something. FUCK.”

“Should I call someone?” Adora stood up, having no idea how to help her friend deal with the urges.

Glimmer shook her head as she tried to calm herself, “No, I’ll… I’ll be fine. I have to… argh, I have to face this shit at some point.”

“Was it really that bad? I mean, Catra told me about you sleeping together, but it feels like there’s more.”

“I got in an argument with him on the way home from the funeral. I don’t remember much from that day, but I do recall that I got personal - like, _really_ personal - and I called him by his old name just to hurt him.”

Adora’s hand covered her face, “Oh Glim…”

“Mh,” she nodded, “God, I’ve fucked everything up.”

“You haven’t, you haven’t. Catra and I are still here. We’re going to help you get better, anything you need.”

Glimmer laughed dryly, “Anything? Cause I could do with some vodka.”

“Come on, that’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” her body sank and she rested her head back on the table, “It’s just that I’m supposed to spend another ten weeks in here – no booze, no drugs, just all this shit going round my brain unfiltered. How the fuck do I cope with that Adora? I can’t do this.”

Adora put an arm around her friend as she began to break down, “You _can._ You’re Glimmer, you’re brave and strong. You can do whatever you put your mind to and this… you are going to power through and come out the other end better than you’ve ever been. I believe in you.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you’re my best friend and there’s nothing we can’t handle when we have each other. I’m always a phone call away, Glim, you should never feel like you have to do this on your own. Never.”

The sound of nearby movement took their attention, and they glanced up to see Casta and a doctor enter the canteen. Glimmer’s aunt smiled at the two of them, having Adora visit looked as though it had done the world of good.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she leant on a chair, “But we need to let Glimmer go to a therapy session. Did you two have a good chat though?”

Glimmer got to her feet, “I heard some stuff that I needed to. Good and bad.”

“Oh, you’re okay though?”

“I think so,” she nodded, then her blank tone became infused with a hint of determination, “I can do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone made it through OK!
> 
> So a lot of the places I write about are based on real places, and Dene House is no different. It's essentially a residential mental health facility that my brother lived in when battling an eating disorder. This was over 20 years ago, but the contrast of this beautiful building and the sadness it contained has really stuck with me, and it was kind of cathartic to write about.


	7. Not Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A renewed Glimmer returns to Bright Moon, facing more difficult conversations.

“Adora! Adora! She’s here!” Catra yelled across the entrance hall of Bright Moon as she watched a car pull up outside.

“I’m coming!” her girlfriend emerged from the kitchen, balancing a tray that held three glasses filled with a sparkling liquid.

The handle turned, and Glimmer pushed open the door, yelping in surprise to see the two girls quite so close. While Adora had visited the rehab centre regularly, this was Catra’s first sight of her since _that_ night three months before. It struck her just how much Glimmer had changed – it felt like the young woman had so much more of a presence. Her body looked relaxed and free, and the smile on her face expressed optimism, as though she were keen to face her future.

“Glimmer!” Adora thrusted the tray towards an unsuspecting Catra, leaving her arms free to wrap around her friend, “You’re home! I’m so proud of you!”

“It’s… it’s good to be back,” her voice strained, “Please try not to squeeze me to death before I’ve sat down?”

The taller girl let her go, “Oops, sorry. Oh, we got you a treat. Catra?”

Her girlfriend obediently held out a glass in Glimmer’s direction, taking one herself after, “We wanted to do a champagne reception but, y’know… so we got sparkling grape juice. I’m sure it’s just as good!”

“We can show you the bottle, it's definitely non-alcoholic, I checked with like three staff members,” Adora’s eagerness to support her friend manifested as incessant rambling, “Or I can pour you a fresh glass and you can watch it. Or maybe I could open a new one so you know we haven’t-“

“This is perfect, Adora,” Glimmer took a sip, making a slightly disgusted face, “Okay, grape juice is going to take some getting used to. But thank you.”

Catra set her glass back onto the tray, “Yeah, you’re right, it sucks.”

“Thank you, both of you. And, uh, Catra… I hope it’s not too late to apologise?”

The brunette shook her head, “No, of course not. I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“I’m really sorry for everything. I just thought you hated me, because you didn’t visit.”

“I’m sorry, Glimmer,” Catra looked sheepish, “I just can’t be around those sorts of places, they make me… it just brings back a lot of stuff I’d rather forget. But enough of that, what would you like to do now you’re finally home?”

Adora grabbed her friend by the shoulders, “We’ve tidied the place up for you and I bought popcorn in case you want to watch a film. Or we could play some games, or I dunno… whatever you want!”

“If it’s okay with you,” Glimmer began hesitantly, fearing she would disappoint Adora with her plan, “I’d like to go up to my room and be alone for a bit. But I’ll do stuff with you later.”

“Oh!” Adora was caught off-guard, having prepared for them to all spend the day almost glued together, “I guess…yeah. We’ll, uh, hang around.”

“Thanks,” Glimmer scrambled up the stairs. She didn't want to feel like she was being ungrateful for their support, but returning to Bright Moon for the first time since she went off the rails was intimidating, and she didn’t expect Adora to understand that. The whole time she was in rehab, going home was a concept that felt way off in the future – a goal, a reward – and now she was here, it felt anticlimactic. More than that, however, Bright Moon was her mother’s home. Though it had passed into Glimmer’s name, the décor, the staff, the feeling of being here… it was all as Angella had left it. As she sat down on her bed, Glimmer contemplated the dialectic of her mother being gone, but also very much being right there with her. She chuckled to herself, realising that what she was about to do was almost certainly pointless sentimentality.

“Wow, it feels so empty without you here,” she looked up at the ceiling as she spoke, “I mean, I know you weren’t home all the time but there was still that knowledge you were coming back. But this time you’re not, and I think it’s going to take a while to get used to that. I didn’t exactly give myself a chance to process it properly back when it happened, did I? I guess I need time to grieve properly… but in a better way than I did before.

“While I’ve been in rehab, I’ve felt so far away from you, so it hasn’t felt right to say any of this until now. Mum, I’m sorry. I haven’t exactly been the best daughter – I was rude and argumentative, and I’ve been horribly ungrateful for everything you’ve done. Some of that’s down to the drinking, but one thing I’ve learnt is not to use that to absolve myself of responsibility for my actions. I’ve behaved so awfully, and it hurts that I won’t be able to make it up to you. All I can do is to acknowledge my mistakes and try not to beat myself up about it – God knows I’ve done that already.

“Apologising doesn’t seem like enough, but it’s all I’ve got. I’d ask if you forgive me, but I already know the answer – I know you do because that’s the type of person you are. _Were,_ I guess. Compassionate, I suppose is the word? You had time and love for everyone. If I could be half the woman you are…well, that would be amazing. And I’m going to try. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks - I’m going to make you proud by continuing all the work you did, and I’m hoping it will give my life the meaning that I’ve been searching for. I want to pick up where you left off with all your charity work and stuff; I don't have a clue what to do, but all I need to do is ask 'What would my mum do?'. That'll work, right?

“I know this is all a bit silly, me talking into thin air and pretending like you’re actually here, but it doesn’t feel right just acting like you’re gone. I love you, Mum, I just hope you know that.”

“I’m sure she does.”

Glimmer was startled, not realising anyone was listening – and certainly not expecting to hear _that_ voice, “Bow?”

“Don’t get too excited,” he spoke indifferently, leaning on the door frame until she invited him in, “I’m not here to forgive you.”

“So why are you here?”

“Catra said I should talk to you. I didn’t want to, but she was quite insistent,” he paced back and forth in front of her, “You’ve behaved horribly towards me, Glimmer.”

“I’m s-“

“Please, let me say what I need to. I’ve known you for years, Glim, you’re my best friend. _Were_ my best friend. You used to tell me everything – I was the one who knew you better than anyone else in the world. But then all this happened, and you hid it from me. It felt like you’d just stopped needing me, stopped wanting to be my friend.”

Glimmer stared at the floor, screwing her face up to hold back the tears, “I’m sorry Bow, I…”

“Why, Glimmer?”

“I don’t know how much you’ve been told, or what you’ve noticed,” her face felt hot; it never got easier to admit her failings, “I learnt a lot about myself in rehab, like… I’m an alcoholic. I’ve been using alcohol to cope with life for months – years, even. And the more I drank, the less I needed to think about my problems, so I didn’t want or even need to talk about them with anyone. But it got out of control – I ended up putting people at risk. I put _you_ at risk and I’m sorry.”

Bow didn’t respond - the mix of anger and sympathy he felt didn’t have any suitable expression. Glimmer took his silence as a disapproval, which she found completely understandable, but at least she was able to say this all to him. After Adora had visited her and shown her Bow’s messages, the words “I’m done” had stuck in her head. She had sunk into a rut that lasted several days, the knowledge that she’d driven her best friend away taking away what little motivation she had to engage with treatment as she feared she had lost all chance of fixing things between them.

“I know I did some stupid things, Bow. But you rejected me. The night my mum died and we… you know. You told me it was a mistake and went home. Then the day of the funeral, you just left me there crying on the floor. What was I supposed to think?”

Bow perched on the edge of the bed, some distance away from her, “I handled that badly, I’m sorry. The day she died, we got caught up in the emotion and, yeah, it just happened. I wanted to take the hurt away from you and maybe I got it wrong. But then when I was lying there with you I remembered why we were there and I panicked – I didn’t mean that what we did was a mistake, just that the timing was a mistake.”

“WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU-“ Glimmer caught herself getting angry, taking a moment to reset herself before continuing, “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“You stopped talking to me, Glim. And on the way back from the funeral, you were...”

She sighed, closing her eyes as she recalled that particular conversation, “I was disgusting. I won’t try and excuse myself, I hit out at you and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. If you don’t believe anything else I say, that’s fine, but I am so sorry for what I said.”

“That hurt me,” Bow pursed his lips, “It was the moment that took away my sympathy for you – a switch flipped in my mind and suddenly you weren’t my best friend struggling to cope with a loss. You became just some drunk determined to ruin their own life, which was so sad, because you were one of my best friends. No, not 'one of', it was different with us, wasn’t it?”

“Different?”

“You know we’re not the same as the others. Tell me that you feel the same way about Adora as you do about me.”

“I…”

“You can’t, can you, Glimmer? Because…” he paused, knowing that he was about to change everything, “Because I’ve been in love with you since we met, and I’m pretty sure you have been too. I just don’t think I want to be with you now – it’s like you’re a completely different person to the Glimmer in my mind. The one I loved.”

Glimmer wiped her eyes with her hand. Did Bow just say he was in love with her? She had often thought it, and if she was being honest with herself, she felt the same way. But it sounded like she had ruined their chances, “Everything I’ve done recently has been fuelled by alcohol. So, I guess, yeah, I was a different person. But I’m sober now, Bow. I know it’s really early days, but I’ve banned booze from the house, I’ve deleted Kyle’s number from my phone and I’ll be going to the meetings. I don’t want to be that person again.”

“I’m glad you’re trying,” Bow’s response seemed cold to her, “But that isn’t enough to change my mind. I’m not saying I think you’re going to relapse or anything, but… can you blame me for being sceptical?”

“Honestly, no. I know there’s nothing I can say that will prove that I won’t go backwards, but I’m asking you to be patient. Please stay with me while I get your trust back. _Please._ ”

“Glimmer, it’s not that easy, I don’t know-“

“I love you too, Bow.”

They fell into silence, unsure where the revelation left them. Bow had come here just to let Glimmer know how her behaviour had affected him, but now they had disclosed their feelings towards each other, he couldn’t just leave it there.

“This…we…” he stuttered over his words, “I cannot be anything more than a friend to you right now, Glimmer. And even that is going to be difficult for us. _Maybe_ once I know we’ve got the old Glimmer back for good we can… you know, we can possibly be something more. But that’s not definite, okay? I can’t – and _won’t_ – be your crutch, you need to get better for yourself, not for me.”

“No, I totally understand,” Glimmer sniffled, “I know I have to work on myself first. It feels like now I’m home, everyone thinks I’m fixed now, but I’m not. Every day is a struggle, Bow – do you know how easy it would be for me to get hold of alcohol? A lot easier than trying to beat those urges, I can tell you that. But I’m willing to put the effort in – for you, for Adora and Catra, for my mum. For _me_. I never want to put people through that again.”

Bow stared into space while his thoughts formed, “Just make sure it’s for you more than anyone else, OK?”

She nodded, then shot her gaze towards the door where Adora was peering around the frame, “Just making sure you weren’t killing each other.”

“We wouldn’t,” the young man smiled at her, “I think we might actually make up. Eventually.”

The news filled Adora with joy, and she gasped gleefully, “That’s awesome! I’ve missed hanging out with you both together.”

“Well you know what they say,” Glimmer playfully stuck her tongue out towards Bow, “We _are_ the Best Friend Squad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, we made it! Thank you for all the wonderful comments along the way, this has been great to write.
> 
> Coming up (next week maybe), a seasonal tale where we will meet Adora's parents!


End file.
